Hey, what's up,

Today I want to ask...

...have you ever been SHOT DOWN? How about REJECTED?

Were you ever DENIED? Or perhaps there was a time when you got BLOWN OUT?

You're probably nodding your head yes. Aren't you?

Well, stop nodding.

Never once were you ever "shot down", "rejected", "denied", or, the most brutal sounding of all, "blown out".

Those words are the jewels in the shit crowns of losers. Forget losers...

Losers sit around and catalogue their failings like historians of misery. Like bitter masochists, they not only continually replay their failings to themselves - they actually give their failings painful sounding names.

SHOT DOWN? How the would that feel. BLOWN OUT? What sort of agony might accompany something like that?

Guys who never experience a shoot down, rejection, denial, or blow out are true ladies' men. And you're one now, too. So you will never again suffer through the torturous phrases of the loser class.

"But Rob," you might be thinking, "This all SOUNDS nice, but rejection still hurts. I can't just decide to not feel hurt when a girl rejects me."

Okay, true. Sometimes girls are momentarily be unaware of your inherent awesomeness, and so she may act rude, shy, unresponsive, or a variety of other behaviors I like to call "RETARDED."

So I invented a term for this that perfectly encapsulates the reality of this retarded behavior:

MULLIGAN!

Yes, like in golf, this girl has just served you a mulligan. For non-golfers and space aliens, a mulligan is when you accidentally mess up a shot so you get another shot without adding a stroke to your score.

Sort of like a "do-over", but mulligan sounds funnier when you scream it in a bar.

And that's exactly what you should do.

Whenever a girl acts in a way you'd deem retarded, don't get mad. Don't get upset. Don't even get another girl. Get a mulligan.

Simply walk away then come back later and resume as if you never met the girl. Mulligan! Don't add a stroke, add a girl.

It may just seem like a funny phrase or something amusing to scream in a packed bar (and it is, trust me) but it also serves a higher purpose.

It communicates a key concept that's absolutely essential to becoming good with women: The concept of a world without dead ends.

No decision is ever final.

One minute a girl may turn her back to you, the next she's leading you by the hand to her bedroom. Female attraction is time dependent. She might love you one moment, hate you the next.

And, conversely, she may think you're the biggest creep in the world, but later fall in love with you.

Believe in the mulligan. Believe.

Because ultimately, that's the game of dating: a series of mulligans standing in between you and the girl before you're dating.

When you hit a mulligan, you've encountered an obstacle. No big deal, just remove it.

keep it real
X.A

Have you ever worked up your courage to go talk to a woman, and then you're standing there in silence, wondering what to say next?
It happens to every guy - and it happened to me quite a bit as I was trying to learn how to talk to women and meet women.
The good news is that you don't have to suffer with that uncomfortable silence anymore. In this article, I'm going to reveal 3 Secrets for How To Talk To Women.
If you use these tips, every guy around you - including your buddies - are going to envy you.

How To Talk To Women - Secret #1: Take on a Famliar Attitude

Studies have shown that a part of all human brains actually RESISTS the new and different. When you encounter a new person, your nervous system actually goes on alert, and tries to keep you from trusting and connecting with them. It takes multiple encounters with a person to finally open up and let them in.
Well, the same is true for women, who have their own "defensive shields" - yes, just like on Star Trek.
Remember all that advice you got as a kid about "stranger danger"?
Well, it's actually terrible advice, and it conditioned us to avoid meeting new people later on in life. Most guys talk to women with the attitude of a guy who is a stranger. As a result, they've silently accepted this role, and they almost seem to beg to be treated like a potential threat.
Instead, when you're learning how to talk to women, you have to assume the role of the "old friend."
Think about how you talk to a guy friend you've known for years. It's casual, laid back, and comfortable.
That's the exact same energy you want when you talk to women. They'll feel the vibe and respond accordingly. We react to people based on how comfortable THEY feel in their own skin. So just chill and treat her like you've known her for years.
And who knows - maybe you will.

How To Talk To Women - Secret #2: Ask Questions

Questions are the secret weapon of control in conversation. They allow you to steer things, and they also allow you to draw her out of her shell.
Remember, a woman is looking to feel your confidence when you're talking to her, and she's also a little nervous herself. She wants to be approved of as well. By using questions, you help her get out of her nervous mindset. You need to be confident enough for two.
Some keys to asking questions are that you need to keep them:

• Light - no asking about intimate or heavy emotional details.
  
  
• Different - Don't just ask her where she works - ask her how she feels about her work. Or ask her what she would rather be doing if she had the day off.
  
  
• Low-disclosure - don't ask her intimate questions, or questions that require her to give up personal information too quickly. The only thing you want to walk away with is a phone number or email. Any other details - like where she lives - should be considered off-limits. For now.
  
  

How To Talk To Women - Secret #3: Play With Her

The fastest way past a woman's defensive boundaries is simple - it's the same technique you used to use when you were a kid and you wanted to flirt with a girl.
Teasing.
There's a whole system I've developed for teasing women, but I'll give you the essence of it here.
You want to be playful when you're learning how to talk to women, because the one thing that brings down her guard fastest is feeling a bit of teasing energy.
Teasing communicates:

1. You're not intimidated by her. Most men are intimidated by attractive women, and it shows. This then looks like a lack of confidence to her.
2. You're playful and not deadly serious, the way most guys get when it comes to talking to women. This is usually because the only thing on their mind is not getting rejected. Which, ironically, is very unattractive for a woman to sense.
3. She has to prove herself. When you you're thinking of how to talk to women, you're probably imagining how you can prove your value to her. Again, teasing reverses this so she doesn't get the upper hand.

Remember that every chance to talk to women also gives you the chance to screen out women you don't want. A man who has standards is much more attractive to a woman.
A playful attitude means not thinking that how to talk to women means you have to be Mr. Serious, because that's a real turn-off with women. She's going to think you've got an agenda. And that's not something she wants to sense. She wants to feel like destiny brought you two together, and it will be like a romance novel or romantic comedy movie.
She really wants to have a great story about why you came together. When you meet her, that's your opportunity to create that story by giving her a fun time, and letting her spend her time wondering when she gets to feel it again with you.
And if you want to get the complete roadmap of how to go from home alone to how to meet and attract the sexy girlfriend of your dreams, then you need to learn how to talk to women with my home study program. It's fast, easy, and guaranteed to get you from no women to wherever you want to be in just a few weeks.
Date as many women as you want - for as long as YOU want.

 

2. Clothes that fit
I say it again and again, but I still see 4 out of 5 guys wearing baggy clothes that make them look sloppy. I don't care if you're 20-30 pounds overweight, you'd STILL look better wearing clothes that fit.
As a rule of thumb, if you can grasp more of a handful of fabric on your shirt or pants that means it's way too baggy. Also, if ANYTHING is bunched (e.g., pants legs), get it tailored--immediately. Bunchy and baggy is equal to sloppy and ugly.
Here's a guy whose clothes fit him:

(Note: And, yes, that includes your jacket--especially your jacket!)
3. Unbutton, untucked
Again, another faux pas that seems obvious, but guys are out committing it again and again. Just type "men's fashion" into Google and see how many pictures feature guys with tucked-in or fully-buttoned shirts.
And, if that doesn't convince you, go out and observe how many guys with hot girls have their shirts tucked in or buttons buttoned.
YET STILL, at every conference I speak at, on every live program I teach, and every time I'm recognized out, I meet dating advice students who tuck in their shirts in and are fully buttoned up.
In fact, if I've met you and my first comment was, "Untuck your shirt and undo about 3 of those buttons," don't be offended (I say it to everyone); however, heed my advice! Women want guys who let it "hang out"--so do it!
4. Quality versus quantity
I doubt anyone reading is attending runway shows or salivating over this year's Prada outdoor line. Though, buying "cheap" brands because it saves you a couple bucks is just not worth it in the long run.
I, too, was once guilty of "bargain hunting," trying to find all my clothing at inexpensive stores like H&M and TJ Maxx. While you will certainly find some cool pieces there (especially shirts and vests to incorporate into layering), for fashion necessities go with quality brands.
For example, shell out a little extra money for jeans and jackets/coats. While it may hurt a bit up front to drop $150 for a pair of Diesel jeans or $400 for an Armani trench coat, you'll look forward to wearing these items and feel good every time you put them on.
5. Experiment a bit
No, I don't mean that type of experimenting. I mean experiment with some "riskier" fashion items. For example, try wearing a neck tie out or a vest or a button-down argyle sweater.
Thumb through an issue of GQ and see what the "very fashionable" male models are wearing and experiment with it. Sure, it may feel a bit "incongruent" at first, but you'll probably find lots of people commenting on your intrepid outfit. Sure some guys may tool you, but the corollary to that is that some girls will find you irresistibly sexy.
Again, let me just reiterate that this is NOT "peacocking" where you wear something absurd simply to get a reaction out of people--this is you being "highly stylish" and in synch with tomorrow's fashion staples.
And who knows, you just may stumble on a "fashion law" that applies only to you and makes you look devilishly more charming than the average guy who's still going out in graphic print t-shirts and American Eagle jeans. (If that's you, please stop immediately.)

keep it real
X.A